Effective Management Magic Tips

     Effective Management Magic Tips

·        Never give me work in the morning.  Always wait until 4:00pm and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing ·        If it's really a "rush job", run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke. ·        Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. ·        Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase.  I'm not here for the money anyway. ·        If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority.  I like being a psychic. ·        Do your best to keep me late.  I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.  ·        If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion. ·        If you don't like my work, tell everyone.  I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped. ·        If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.  No use confusing me with useful information. ·        Never introduce me to the people you're with.  I have no right to know anything.  In the corporate food chain, I am plankton.  When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them. ·        Tell me all your little problems.  No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.  I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.